Day 2

Well, so another day is almost passed. I tell myself I'm doing pretty well with not obsessing. But it's only been two days. I've thought about it every minute. I am going to be a big mess by the weekend, I just know it. I don't have my hopes up, but still...

Tina and I finally got the yard work done, or at least most of it. There is some left to be done on Sunday. I want to get a plan together so we can build a little fence around the flower beds in the back yard so the dogs don't get into it. They're getting better about digging, but I'm sure they'll see flowers and think it's lunch.

We had a bad experience yesterday at the clinic we went to in the tri-cities area. I don't want to put too much energy into it, so I'll just say that they wouldn't see us because we're not married. So, I'm on a quest to find a clinic who won't have a problem with us being lesbian. So far, every where I've checked today, it's not a problem...now it's just choosing where to go.

You know, I can hear Tina snoring her head off on the couch, and I just have to say how much I love her. I have never been in a position where someone has the complete power to destroy me. I know she won't and there is a sense of peace that I can't explain. Sure, she drives me nuts, but she also makes my heart sing. I love our house and the life we've built together with the "kids" (our dogs) and how everything everyday just falls into place. I love that she's so good at math (I totally suck at it). It's like walking around with my personal talking calculator. I know that this sounds so corny, but I love that she's been to Yellowstone Park. I know, I'm a dork. I've never been there and still want to go someday. She had to go there every summer as a child and I love hearing those stories. I love to hear of how on her father's farm, when she was a teenager, had to chase the cows to get them back in the pasture and her friends would see she had to do this from the bus. I would have been mortified if I had to go chase cows. She used to have to drive the tractor into town God only knows why and her friends would be hanging out and she'd just wave at 'em...I would have ran away from home if my father wanted me to do that! I just love how she can do something in one hour what would normally take me 5 days to do. I'm a perfectionist so I don't get too far in most things, but she can come in and just do it and it comes out perfect. I love that she's not afraid of mice, and that when we lived in Vegas and I saw one in our kitchen, she didn't hold it against me that I refused to go to that part of the house for about a month. She's my Sugar Monkey, and I adore her.

Day 2

Well, so another day is almost passed. I tell myself I'm doing pretty well with not obsessing. But it's only been two days. I've thought about it every minute. I am going to be a big mess by the weekend, I just know it. I don't have my hopes up, but still...

Tina and I finally got the yard work done, or at least most of it. There is some left to be done on Sunday. I want to get a plan together so we can build a little fence around the flower beds in the back yard so the dogs don't get into it. They're getting better about digging, but I'm sure they'll see flowers and think it's lunch.

We had a bad experience yesterday at the clinic we went to in the tri-cities area. I don't want to put too much energy into it, so I'll just say that they wouldn't see us because we're not married. So, I'm on a quest to find a clinic who won't have a problem with us being lesbian. So far, every where I've checked today, it's not a problem...now it's just choosing where to go.

You know, I can hear Tina snoring her head off on the couch, and I just have to say how much I love her. I have never been in a position where someone has the complete power to destroy me. I know she won't and there is a sense of peace that I can't explain. Sure, she drives me nuts, but she also makes my heart sing. I love our house and the life we've built together with the "kids" (our dogs) and how everything everyday just falls into place. I love that she's so good at math (I totally suck at it). It's like walking around with my personal talking calculator. I know that this sounds so corny, but I love that she's been to Yellowstone Park. I know, I'm a dork. I've never been there and still want to go someday. She had to go there every summer as a child and I love hearing those stories. I love to hear of how on her father's farm, when she was a teenager, had to chase the cows to get them back in the pasture and her friends would see she had to do this from the bus. I would have been mortified if I had to go chase cows. She used to have to drive the tractor into town God only knows why and her friends would be hanging out and she'd just wave at 'em...I would have ran away from home if my father wanted me to do that! I just love how she can do something in one hour what would normally take me 5 days to do. I'm a perfectionist so I don't get too far in most things, but she can come in and just do it and it comes out perfect. I love that she's not afraid of mice, and that when we lived in Vegas and I saw one in our kitchen, she didn't hold it against me that I refused to go to that part of the house for about a month. She's my Sugar Monkey, and I just adore her.

TWW

Well, insemination #1 went off with a few hitches. We weren't as prepared as we should have been, so we did some scrabbling in order to get the supplies we needed. But in the end, we got it done. We used a 10cc syringe...may I suggest that nobody ever use one of those? Ouch! It was the only thing we could find on Easter and most of the pharmacies being closed...that or a turkey bayster. (I roll my eyes just reading that)

I don't feel as if I've ovulated or that I'm even getting close. My donor will be back in town tomorrow night. We'll do another insemination once he gets settled in. I'm all out of OPKs so I'll have to get some more so I can continue testing. I never got a + OPK...

I did the big mistake of telling my donor I dreamt about him Sunday morning. In my dream, he, Tina, and I were staying in the same hotel room-but different beds. I don't remember why, I think Tina was snoring too loudly or something...anyway, I jumped into bed with MD (my donor) and we just snuggled. Well, I told him about that, and he and Tina teased me all day. He kept putting his arm around me saying, "Let's snuggle". Dork. I know I'll never live it down.
If our kids are anything like him, we'll never have a dull moment!

I so desperately want to do my spring cleaning but can't bring myself to do it. I'm not obsessed over this TWW yet, I think I'm just being super lazy. Maybe tomorrow.

I Was Right

I was right, today is a long day. Not that I've done anything but sit here at the computer waiting for the hours to pass by. Tina's at work, it's raining outside, the dogs are napping. The TVs are off, no radio. I'm hungry but too lazy to make myself something to eat. I'm not tired enough to take a nap. It's not even 2 O'clock.

Here We Go Again

Well, we're going to start TTC again. I must admit, I'm really excited about it. Tina approached me about it a couple weeks ago. I was surprised because I was thinking the same thing...so here we are. I start my Clomid tomorrow. Now that we know what to expect, hopefully, it won't be so awful. I didn't start taking my temp on account of the chance of having too much to obsess over. Hopefully, I won't come to regret that decision.

I feel some-what more calm about starting again. AF didn't show up until 4 days after her expected appearance, so perhaps I'm not as together about this as I think.

Tomorrow will be a long day, I'm sure. I have lots I can do.

We had dinner with our donor tonight. He is such an awesome guy. I think the world of him, and I know Tina does, too. I often wonder if he knows how much we love him and how protective we are over him. He's just a big cuddle bug and it just amazes me that he's still single. He works his butt off and it worries me a little. He's lost a lot of weight, too. He's still handsome as ever. Our kids are going to be gorgeous!

Today was awesome!

Well, last night I couldn't sleep. When I finally did, it was at about 5 this morning. I had to get up at 7...considering my lack of sleep for the first part of my day, I was feeling really well and upbeat. Lately, I've been in a slump and not really myself. Today, I feel like I'm making a comeback.

I met with a counselor today. I like to have one, whom I can be brutally honest with, and I think I've found her. She is so awesome! I had so much I was carrying around-it felt so good to unload it. She was so easy to talk to...like we were old friends or something. It was great! I had lunch with Tina afterwards and she even said I got that sparkle back in my eye. Awhh. I know I've been down in the dumps lately, it such a horrible place to be. I don't like it when I'm down. I do feel like a weight has been lifted and I know that it's going to be worth the $$ to see her.

While we were at the restaurant today, they were playing the new Ray Charles CD...I asked Tina to buy it for me. I'm anxiously waiting to get it! She has to close tonight so she won't be home until about midnight. I went to shop at her store but had to leave before I even got in on account of my heart racing like crazy. That happens if I don't get enough sleep, so I had her drop me off and I took a long hard nap this afternoon. I'm still sleepy, otherwise, I feel great.

I've been on my diet for about 4 days now. So far so good. I haven't done any exercise yet. I don't really have a good excuse...just too lazy to get out there. Maybe while I'm in Montana...

I'm leaving to Montana next Wednesday. We have to have some work done on the truck and I can't find anyone I really trust to do it here. Plus, it'll be really nice to see my dad. I miss him so much. I won't be staying long, I don't think. It just depends on what needs to be fixed on the truck, etc. I'm pretty excited about going. Tina can't go, she has to stay and work. So, I'll leave the dogs with her. My friend Rhonda will be coming her via the train and she'll ride back to Montana with me so I don't have to go alone. I've made the trip a million times by myself, but since the truck isn't as reliable as it used to be, I'd really like to have someone with me if I break down. She's a big ole' farm girl who can hold her own, so I'll feel safe. I wish Tina could go, though. I miss her so much sometimes. I'll be worried about her...

I am going to try my hardest to get the house some-what cleaned up this weekend. I also need to have an oil change done before I go...and an alignment also.

Tina is off this weekend. We had originally planned to go to Portland and spend the weekend there, but decided that since I have a long drive ahead of me this week, we'll save it for after Easter. Instead, we're staying home and going to her foster care classes. I already finished mine, but I'll go with her anyway. Hopefully, we can do a little something with the baby room. We haven't even BEGUN to do anything.

Well, not much else is going on at the moment. I'm sure I'll more to report later.