Let's see how this goes:

My last post didn't go so well, let's see how this does.

So far so good.

I'm really nervous about moving to Yakima. I mean, it's a long way to move. I'd be without Tina for a long time. I'll miss Jamie and Sully and my Dad. I can't believe I ever thought this was a good idea. What the hell was I thinking?

There's so much I need to do before I move. Lillian's room still needs to be packed up. My mom will be staying with Tina starting the 1st of January. She'll need the space in here. She'll be taking care of the dogs for us while Tina's helping me get settled in.

I still have to decide what I'm taking with me. It's a process I just really don't want to do right now. I'm terrible when it comes to things like this. I have a tendancy to procrastinate--then I'm totally unprepared. Ugh. I need to get on with it already!

I'd like to have the house situated for Tina before I leave, too. If there's one thing I know, it's that Tina doesn't know where anything is in this house. LOL. I really should get things in order for her.

I have one box packed so far. I think I packed that box two weeks ago.

Feeling anxious

Today has been a longer day than most. I forgot that Tina has to pick my mom up from the bus station tonight. She won't get back until 11. I haven't done much today besides a load of laundry and a shitload of dishes. I should be packing for my move to Yakima.

It's been a long day today. I'm feeling especially lonely today. My mom has gone back to Deming for a week. It's sure quiet without her.

Tina's on her way home now. Seems like she's been gone an awfully long time.

It snowed a little here today. And it's cold. I fucking hate being cold.

I can't wait to move to Yakima. You really have no idea.

I really miss Lillian today.

For Fuck's Sake!

Two hours later, I'm FINALLY here.

I'll post more later.

Long time no see

I can't believe it's been so long. I have to admit that I pretty much forgot that this place even existed.

We're living in Conrad now. It's really nice to be here, although sometimes it's a little too small. We haven't done much to fix up the house in a very long time, but I'm hoping that will soon change. There's so much to do.

I've been under the weather lately, but I can feel myself getting better. I can't wait to be over this coughing up of chunky stuff.

My mom is living here in town now. She has her own place not too far from here. Lately I've been spending a lot of time over there. I feel bad for neglecting my father who hasn't seen much of me in about 4 days.

Eva and Maria moved to Yakima. We were really sad to see them go, but I'm starting to think that it was a good move for them. They seem to be happy about their decision-as sad as it is for us. Tina took it especially hard-which surprised the hell outta me. She cried all the way from Yakima to Moses Lake. That's a good hour and a half drive.

It may be that Lillian comes to visit for the summer. I'm not really sure which way it'll go at the moment because of the money situation for Deb. I know that it would be fun for Tina and I to have her come visit, but at the same time, I know it's going to be a lot of work, too. Not having children of our own, it'll be a major adjustment...We'll see what happens.

I've picked up a new hobby: gardening. I haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing, but I'm hoping for the best. I jumped the gun and started some seeds inside the house. Now they're about to take over my laundry room so I have to get a greenhouse FAST! I've been researching them online, but so far haven't come to a decision.

There's so much work to be done this summer! I can't wait. There's snow on the ground right now. I can't believe it! It's April. And there's snow.

Tina and I are doing really well. She really likes living in our tiny house..and more amazing: she enjoys the drive all the way to Great Falls. That's 60 miles to and from. I couldn't do it, that's for sure.

Laters...

It's been a long time since I've posted, but I'll only update the most recent things going on:

My mom and boyfriend came to visit. Maria was gracious enough to allow them to use her apartment which isn't too far from here. It was nice having Maria back home for about a month...and it was sure nice that I didn't have to have my mom's boyfriend in my face the whole time they were here. I didn't see much of my mom because she spent most of her time here with HIM. I wasn't impressed with him at all. I don't know what she sees in him. I'm just glad they didn't move here.

Foster care is on hold...I won't get into it. It's exhausting and I'm so tired of repeating myself. I'll just be sure to get back here when we've reached a decision.

I'm really worried about my baby boy. Sully is hurt in his hind-quarters. We had ex-rays and lab work done today. The ex-ray showed something but the vet wasn't sure what it was so he sent it out. I don't know where to. (Tina picked Sully up. She didn't ask where they were sending it, or if the vet HAD to guess-what would he say it is? Should we keep him calm or let him play if he wants to? Sheesh. Why is it the butchies don't think of this stuff?) I'm so sad for him because today he seemed so helpless and I didn't know what to do for him. All I could do was pet him and cry. He's the most loveable sweetest doggie you could ever meet and I just hate that he's going through this. I hate that we don't have a name for what is wrong with him, and I hate that I can't take his place. My poor baby boy.

We've been working on our house in Conrad. We were there all week last week. On account of Sully's condition, we're back in Great Falls until tomorrow night. We have so much work to do in the house, we really don't have much time to dilly dally. We got our knotty pine (tongue and groove), our primer and paint. But we're no where ready for that yet. I guess we both know that when we're ready to paint, etc. we'll almost be done with the livingroom and can finally move on to the second bedroom. I don't think we'll ever get done, but here's hoping.

Maria is going to need surgery. She tore her ACL playing softball. Her surgery is scheduled for the 30th. I guess she wants to stay with us. That makes me happy. I don't really like her girlfriend, but hopefully I won't have to see too much of her. I was surprised she wanted to stay here on account of her girlfriend staying at her place these days. I wonder how long the two of them can stand to be away from eachother? Not long, I'm sure.

I'm irritated today and my feelings are hurt. Since my mom got back together with her boyfriend, she doesn't call me anymore. For about a month, we spoke everyday. Now that he's back, she doesn't call and it's all I can do to get her on the phone.

I wouldn't complain so much about this except for this is "how she is." It's irritating because as soon as they argue, she calls me again.

One thing I have noticed when I DO get her on the phone...she doesn't sound happy. It always sounds as if she's preoccupied or stressed out. I hope he's not the typical mexican man. God, I hope she doesn't bring one of them to my house.

I'm still nervous about the both of them coming to visit. I don't know what to expect. I wish it were just my mom coming. There's so much we could do. But now that he's coming, we have to revise everything. I have no idea how we're going to get any work done on the house this coming month. We really don't have time to spare. But I can't imagine taking both of them there. What would they do? There's no TV. Hell, there's no radio. Tina and I go there to relax. It's therapeudic working on the house.

This just stinks.

Well, we finally got the appointment time for our home study. It's scheduled for April 26th.

I'm trying to get my spring cleaning done now since I won't have time in the near future. It's been hard for me to get here. Seems like every time I turn around there's something else that needs my attention. The house is pretty messy and dusty and I can't stand that. It puts me in a crabby mood, then I get to where I can't think straight. There's so much to do. It's hard to know where to get started.

My mom is coming up from Texas on the 18th. I was really excited to see her, it's been a while. But she called yesterday and asked if her boyfriend could come, too. I couldn't believe it! I tried everything short of saying no to get it to where he couldn't come, but in the end, I gave up and just purchased his ticket. I've never met him before. He doesn't speak English. What the hell am I supposed to say to him? I can speak spanish, just not very well. We're a house full of women. Lesbians. All our friends are lesbian. We know absolutely NO men. None of our friends speak spanish. They're the whitest people I know. We're in the state of Montana! My mom, Maria, mom's boyfriend, and myself. That's 4 mexicans. Four Mexicans in the state of Montana. Ha ha. I know there's more, but this is crap.

I'm nervous because I'm afraid he'll be short with my mom in front of me. Her last boyfriend was this way once with her-in front of me-and I regret so badly, not saying anything to him about it. I wish she would just leave him home. I don't know him. She's dragging him across the country. I have to be nice. There's so much I wanted to do with my mom. Now, I have to make different plans to include him. It's going to be a lot of work to make sure they're entertained. Did I mention the visit is for 6 weeks?

I must say though, Maria is a God send! She offered her place to my mom and her BF. She'll come back and stay with us. I don't think I could handle my mom and her BF staying here.

The thing that is getting me through this is: Through out my life, my mom has met every one I ever wanted to introduce to her. A couple of my girlfriends and I have stayed with my mom with out my mom ever meeting them first. So, I figure I can buck it up and try my hardest to be nice and accepting of this man. I just hope he treats her well.

So, Easter is coming up. I think my dad and grammy will come to dinner. Not sure what I'll make, though. Probably prime rib. Sounds yummy.

I better get to cleaning the house again.